Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Today at church, the 2nd time I've gone within the past month, this was the ending of the sermon. I'll be honest and say that throughout the sermon of how Jesus was a bad boy walking through Samria, Israel in the chapter of John, and talks to the Samaritan woman, I barely listened. I just didn't quite understand where the Pastor was going with it until he said "two roads diverged in a yellow wood," and how Jesus took the road less traveled. That was when I started listening. And now, I really have no idea whatsoever what road I want to take with my Religion. And that is why I decided to blog about it.

I was baptized Presbyterian. I went to church for most of my life. In Georgia, my parents forced me and my siblings to go for what I can remember. Usually I just stayed in the daycare, but when I would sit in the sermon, I enjoyed it. I always did.

Then when we moved to Clover, my mom and brothers stopped going. My dad and I started going to Pleasant Hill, which later became my life. I absolutely loved it, and also the fact that I had the choice whether or not to go, or what I wanted to be involved with. And I was involved with everything I could be: youth group, girl scouts, children's choir, and I went to Sunday school and every service of church on Sundays. I just loved it, really. I was eventually confirmed in the Presbyterian domination. But I didn't actually start to believe believe (I just went off of what I was told) until I went to Look Up Lodge with my youth group. Those two years I went, it changed my life. It was exhilarating, and it breaks my heart every time I start to think of LUL just because I miss it so much, along with my youth group. That was when I started to actually have my own opinion, rather than just believing whatever I'm told.

But that was also when stuff at home started to get worse. I won't go into details, but it was bad, with my dad out of work, and my mom with her Arthritis. And I continued to pray to God that things would stay stable for a while, and then get better, rather than getting worse. My dad soon got a job. That was the main reason I became such a big Christian, I believed that my prayers had been answered by God, which made me feel special.

Since my dad had finally got a job, we then had to move. At first I was upset with it, but within two hours of learning this, I realized that this was God's plan, and I had to accept it. So I did. I knew I was going to miss my friends, my house, and where I grew up at, but the main thing I missed was Pleasant Hill. That was my true home, and I was leaving it. So once we moved to Apex, I stopped going to church. Mostly because my dad and I couldn't find one, but I was too stubborn to like any church because none of them were like Pleasant Hill. My dad soon found one, and I went maybe three times with him before everything went downhill, and I stopped going for two years.

Cindy had been killed in a car crash. Cindy was the choir director at Pleasant Hill, was my second mother (along with pretty much every child at that church), and my hero. And she always will be. I looked up to her, even after I moved. I went to PH 3 times after I had moved before she died, and she would always welcome me just like I had never left. When she died, it just broke my heart into a million pieces. I felt like this was my punishment for not going to church anymore. Then other stuff started happening with my family, and every time I would pray, things would just get worse over time. So I felt like God wasn't listening, or he just wanted to see me suffer because I didn't go to church anymore. So in conclusion, for a while, I stopped worshiping. I didn't go to church, I didn't pray, I didn't read the Bible, and I would try my best to not talk about Religion with my friends. I would also say a big part of me not going to church was because my new friends here didn't believe in God. In Clover, my friends already knew how big of a Christian I was, and they accepted me. I felt like my new friends wouldn't.

Anyways, two years after Cindy died, I met one of my now close friends, Michael, who is Atheist. I confided everything in him, with my background, personal life, and Religion. Then one day he said, "I want to take you to church. I think it'll be good for you." A few weeks later, I stepped into a church for the first time in two years. I felt something I haven't in a while, and that was acceptance. I felt like I was at home again, even if it was just my high school auditorium. When the band was singing, the last song they sang was "Forgiven," which was the one solo I had gotten in my youth choir at church. It reminded me of Cindy, and I started crying. It made me think of everything that had happened while I went to Pleasant Hill, all five years. And it made me miss it. Then I decided that it was a sign, and I would start going to church again.

I didn't go for three weeks because I was afraid of what was going to happen. But today I really wanted to go. And I'm glad I did, even if I barely payed attention to the sermon until the end when I heard my favorite poem. I want to take the road less traveled (of my friends) and start going to church again (most of my friends are either Atheists or don't go to church). I want to get close with God again. I don't know how, though.

That was my Religious background, and also I guess sort of a rant. I just felt compelled to blog about it. Thanks for reading.

First (official) day of summer!

Today as of 1:36pm, it is the first day of Summer. Of course, I've been out of school since June 6, so a little bit over two weeks. And it's been pretty fun, actually. I started it off just relaxing and sleeping in late. Then I went down to Clover and had fun with my best friend of six years now, Krysta. On Monday I went to Carowinds with my guy friends from Clover and Michael, who drove down from Holly Springs for this haha. It was completely worth it, though. I got back and stayed the week with Becky, watching a bunch of movies and swimming. It was the perfect start to summer.

Devin, me, Austin, and Michael after riding the Intimidator for the 9th time. Best roller coaster ever!

I got my report card for sophomore year the other day. My first semester grades were all A's and B's, which I was completely proud about. And for second semester I got 2 B's, and A, and a C. AGH! The stupid C was in geometry... ugh I hate that class. But hey, I'm done with and now I'm onto junior year! I can't believe that I only have 2 years left before college... it's absolutely crazy. Next year I signed up for english 3 honors, algebra 2 honors, us history honors, physics honors, yearbook (year round), Shakespeare honors, and Spanish 1. I'm quite excited for yearbook!

Recently I've had really bad writer's block. I know what I want to write, and I'll start it and everything. The first page or so is good, but after page 5, everything sucks and it's only like a few word sentences, and the dialogue is very short and there's too much of it. GAH. I wish I had a cure for writer's block...

Speaking of writer's block, I don't know what to write here.... So, I will go back to my lazy day of watching tv. Enjoy your summer!

IT'S almost here

And by IT, I mean summer.
It's May 30th. We have one more full day, (May 31st) and then four exam days in which we get out at 11:40 or 10:30. It's amazing how fast sophomore year flew by. It started nine months ago, with marching band. I met some awesome people, quit band, had some drama, became stronger, found my true friends, became a better writer, became a published author, lost weight, became happier, had some guy drama (of course), started a club, joined a new club, and so much more stuff. I had fun, though. And next year will be even better. I really can't wait. Two more years of high school... that's insane just thinking about it...

With summer starting, that means three things: sleep, friends, and sun. I really can't wait to sleep in until 11am-1pm every day, stay up until 1 or 3 am with my friends. Party at the pool every day, tan, hang out with friends, take pictures and always smiling and laughing, and everything like that. If last summer was that awesome, this summer will be amazing. I'm starting it off with driving down to Clover, of course. It's Krysta's 16th birthday this year, which will be awesome :D Hopefully I'll get to see some of my friends that I haven't seen since 7th grade. Then I come back, and go hang out with my friends that I don't get to see that much during the school year. Hopefully go to the beach at one point during the summer, maybe an amusement park, get a new camera, and just have fun. That's what summer's supposed to be about, right? Freedom from no school.

I can't wait.

I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way.

So, I apologize that it's been literally months since I've updated this. Just too busy to write, period. Lately I've just been writing in a notebook during school, but never outside of school anymore. It really depresses me, too.

It's spring break, and I planned on spending time with my friends and writing. I've spent it all with my friends, pretty much. Started off pretty boring, but I ended up hanging out with my neighbor the day before she left. On Monday I went to see Scream 4 with my boyfriend, and tuesday I went to the beach with a bunch of friends. It's Wednesday afternoon, and I'm outside for the first time all day and writing this blog. I'm listening to my iPod, drinking iced coffee, and elevating my ankle. It's really pretty outside; that's what I love about spring. It's just so beautiful. So beautiful. And it always gives me so much inspiration to write, usually, when i go sit outside. I don't know why, though. Maybe because it's a different environment than my room, or the living room? Maybe because it's pretty? Who knows. But hey, if it makes me write, then that's all that matters.

This school year has gone by so fast, it's absolutely crazy. I mean, we only have one quarter left in the school year. Just 8 weeks. One of them we don't have school due to make up exams, and the week before that is all half days because of exams. So, technically, 6 more weeks. That is absolutely crazy. This has been the best semester of high school so far, though. Robotics has made my life a lot happier. Probably because I'm with a bunch of awesome people, or because I'm rarely home due to that. But now that's ended thanks to off season. But not too much longer. I've done exceptionally well this year with my grades. I've been on the A/B honor roll all year, and that makes me extremely happy. It's cutting it close with geometry and civics, stupid test anxiety. But i'll deal with it, and continue to work on it. Next year I signed up to take yearbook, english 3 honors, us history honors, algebra 2 honors, physicis honors, and Shakespeare<3 I'm excited for junior year. i'll also be getting my license. :D

Lately I've been accepting a lot about myself. It's hard to explain, but it's true. I mean, it's nothing really big, but yeah. I've recently joined the GSA at my school. I learned that I'm a lot more into Gay Rights that I thought I was, even if I am straight. I've also recently become a vegetarian, thanks to two people in robotics. My parents don't exactly approve of it, but my brother does. I learned that I really like helping people and that I really wanna help out people in old-folks home, or rehabilitation, or soup kitchens even. I need more information on that.... I learned that I'm also a Liberal, thanks to my Civics class (see? I do pay attention!) I've just learned a lot about myself haha. It's nice, really.

I'm gonna go try to write some. If only I had an idea for a story.... and also if only creative writing 2 would be offered at my school! Thanks for reading Through These Eyes.<3

It's been forever....

It saddens me that I never update this anymore... but in my defense I am NEVER home! I always have robotics, which actually makes me really happy. I started off joining just to photograph for it, as my friend Michaela was pretty much forcing me to join, but as the season went on, I actually started to enjoy it more. I started doing other stuff besides taking pictures and writing, I gained friends (and a boyfriend :P) and it just makes me really happy.
That's pretty much the only thing I can think of to write about, robotics, which is actually where I'm about to leave to go to... :D
Thanks for reading(:

New Years resolution

I know it's sort of late, but I don't really update my blog anymore(obviously). But I want to share with you my resolutions for this year.

1-write everyday for 30 minutes to an hour. I have had an extremely bad case of writers block since November. I've read that authors they always force themselves to write when they have writers block. Hopefully this will help it go away?
2-exercise and lose the weight. i know that probably every woman puts this on their list, but i am very serious about it this year. only certain people know why...actually I really don't think anyone does... but I really have to.
3-gain editing skills(again) every good photographer has pretty awesome editing skills. I used to be pretty skilled with photoshop, but then I just lost it.
4-get good grades. first semester is pretty much over, just two more exams. As of now, I have 2 A's and 2 B's. So, hopefully I can keep that up. I'm excited for second semester, and hopefully I can maybe even get all A's? (that will make me have to learn study skills)
5- be confident. pretty much explains it all. if i was actually confident, I have a feeling I could do much better in pretty much everything.

wish me luck(:

new zodiac sign?

So, here I am. I'm at a local coffee shop in downtown Apex writing. And I go to check my email on yahoo, and I see something about adding a new zodiac sign? So I didn't think it was that big of a deal and read it anyways. So, I read it, found it kind of interesting, and found out my sign changed. I am so mad about it, it's not even funny. Okay, I lied, it is definitely funny. I loved being a virgo, and now I'm a leo? That's not cool. I've gone 15 years being a virgo and now it changes.
I called my mom and said "they made a new zodiac sign," and she didn't believe me. So, I posted the link on her wall on facebook, and she believed me then. She went from Libra to Virgo. It's kind of funny, because right away Becky texted everyone in her phone, and everyone changed, and they are all pissed about it. haha. Becky and I changed together, though<3
So, has your sign changed?
http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2011/01/ophiuchus-new-zodiac-sign-dates-and-your-real-astrological-sign.html