So, it's officially the Christmas Season! And I absolutely love this season. all the joy and cheer, the cold, the hot cocoa, the fire places, the rumors and excitement of snow, and then the disappointment when it doesn't snow because we're in NC, the decorating the tree, the family members, the parades, the singing, the lights, everything. It's beautiful! I can't wait until my mom and I go out and look at lights closer to Christmas. It's become an annual thing for us. (:
It was really nice to sleep in today, you have no idea. This whole past week, I went to sleep around 11-12 because I couldn't get to sleep. then i woke up around 5:30-5:40 every day because my alarm clock hasn't been going off lately. and repeat 5x. how lovely, right? (I've been saying 'lovely' a lot. i just love that word(:
I love my friends. Their my favorite people in the world. Especially the few Clover people I still talk to. I've been gone 2+ years, and the ones I still talk to are true friends. When I moved, I lost a lot of those who I considered close friends. But, I still kept my best friend, Krysta, my swim team buddy, Hanna, an ex, Allen, and a really good guy friend, Devin. But that doesn't mean that I don't love my Apex/Holly Springs friends. Over the 2+ years, though, I've gained and lost a ton of friends, more so than for the 6 years I lived in Clover. I started here in 8th grade, and the only person I'm still friends with from the beginning of 8th grade is Adam. From the end, there's Becky. Summer was Alli and Blake. Those are my Apex people. Then the HS people, I basically lost all of my freshman year people. Sophomore year, I have Devan and Alex T. Those people are the people that have kept me here, and I have so much love for them for that.
Last night, I was talking to one of my clover friends. I trusted him with my biggest secret. he was the only one there for me last night when I really needed someone, and that just brought us closer. And we started talking about how I've changed so much, and how I miss the old me. I don't even remember the old me, that's how bad I am now. He had to explain it to me; that I was always nice, was funny, I wasn't afraid to be myself, and I was strong. Sure, I'm always nice, and can be funny. But I can't be myself anymore. I don't know who I truly am anymore. All I know is that I care for everyone. I'm not that strong anymore. I'm only strong about one thing in particular. But just hearing him say those things, it just...it's hard to explain. it just made me feel good about myself because I'm remembering who I was and who I wish to be again. I loved myself in 7th grade. Nothing was wrong except for the fact I knew I was moving. but i was myself, i didn't care what people think about me, and I loved life. And look at me now. I can't hold on to the crappy stuff that happened. I have to just let go of it. So thank you, friend. (:
I suppose I'm going to start writing again. I miss writing, even though it's only been 4 days since I've last written. haha, I'm a loser. (: I can't decide whether to go back to a story that I've started before, or if I should start a new one. We'll see, we'll see. (:
the Apex parade is tonight. I have to be at school at 2, and we'll leave at 3. lovely. It's supposed to snow tonight! (See, two of my favorite things about the Christmas Season in one night.. and then tomorrow morning when i see that it didn't snow, three things!) I'm not excited, considering I'm back in my boot. Yesterday at practice, my ankle was really bothering me. I ended up getting out of parade formation and sitting out, crying. how cute. so, i'll be marching down the parade route in a boot, in a Barney suit, with a six foot metal pole in less that 30 degrees. Lovely.
We got our tree today. About time to decorate? Heck yes. But first, I have to clean my room. Heck no. haha.
Thanks for reading through these eyes.(:
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