This is going to be one of those depressing posts...

Two posts (maybe even three) have been dedicated to school. And each one of them has said something about how 'this will be my year.' But this year, junior year, has not been the best year. So far, freshman year is beating it. That just sucks....
"But this year, Junior year, will be the best," from 'Excited!' 8/5/11.
It sort of depresses me, too. I went into the school year so ready for everything, ready to get all A's, go off campus for lunch, be an upperclassmen, and all that jazz. Instead I've been bogged down for the entire first nine weeks of school. (Speaking of which, it does NOT seem like we've been in school for nine weeks already!)
Algebra 2 Honors: Math has been my best subject up until last year with Geometry, when we had a long term sub. She broke my steady, 2 year, loving relationship up between me and Math. I was devestated to see that I got a C in math, after my final grade in math the past two years above a 95. So I went into Algebra 2 the first few weeks, getting my usual grades. Math and I were back together, or at least flirting for the little while. Then BAM! Math broke up with me this time. I get most things, but tests and quizes are not my friends. I have an 85 in that class currently (which really kills me) but I keep continuing to fail everything, which also kills me.
Spanish 1: Spanish is my best academic class. I'm pretty decent at most things-- conjugating I could be better at-- but I have a 94 in that class. It had never gone below a 94 (it was a steady 97 for the entire first seven weeks or so) until recently, when all of my grades have been suffering. No complaints about this class. Great teacher, okay classmates (for the most part), and we play a lot of games.
Psychology Honors: Hardest class I've taken in high school, but that's expected. I have a few good friends in that class, the teacher is hilarious and he helps me out a lot, we have class mice, and I get majority of it. The only bad thing is that my test anxiety absolutely kills me in this class. My highest test grade in this class is a 74. I study for hours and hours and then the test comes and it kills me. Arg.
Yearbook: I will forever and ever love this class. I love designing the spreads, I love writing the copy, I love taking pictures, I love interviewing, I love the stress by the deadline, I love the people. There's nothing I dislike about this class. We just got our new deadlines, and I'm the only new person that has their own spread this time because my editors think I'm good enough and don't need the help or anything. It makes me happy (: I can't wait to be an editor next year. Last week, we actually went to UNC Chapel Hill's journalism day. We took classes from News and Observer writers and college professors. That field trip proved to me that journalism/communications is the way I want to go.
If school is going to be this way for me all year, I'm insanely screwed next semester. Shakespeare Honors, US History Honors, English 3 Honors, and yearbook. Dang.

I don't really talk to many of my old friends from last year, or any from freshman year, really. I drive a lot. I write a lot (and getting ready for NaNo, which is in 4 days!) I listen to music. I work on yearbook stuff. I hang out with my brother time to time. I go to Walmart. But I don't really hang out with friends. I'm sort of okay with that, honestly. I like being alone. I guess that's a good thing, then.
Maybe I'm just going through another change or something.

CRISIS.

Well, I wouldn't really call it a crisis, but yeah.

Krysta has been my best friend since fifth grade. Six years and we've been through everything. The two of us, even after I moved, have always done everything together. Reading the same books, doing the same things with free time, in love with the same bands (usually) and we usually almost always agree with everything. When we were in middle school, we always planned that we would go to the same college for the same thing (because we both love writing) and then would eventually both get married and have our own families and live next door to each other.

Well, part of this plan is starting to show up around the corner. College is two years away, and we should by now be figuring out what we want to do. I've already figured out that I want to go into Journalism and minor in English Education. I've always wanted to write, and it's the only thing I could really see myself doing. But Krysta on the other hand is freaking out and can't decide. She's going back and forth between being an English teacher, or Creative Writing/Journalism, and Public Relations. And sadly, she's letting others make the choice for her. (I won't go into anymore detail since it's her life and all.)

Today she chatted me up on Facebook telling me her newest plan. It was to do English Education and minor in Public Relations. And as she told me her reasons why (I won't say), I started to think about it: Jobs in journalism are slowly declining. Newspapers are dying, magazines are dying, and books are being turned digital with the kindle and whatever else is out there. The only thing left for journalism would be television and radio, which I'm sure by the time that I'm out of college will also be declining.

So right now, as I am typing this up, I'm thinking about how scared I am. I'm in a mini crisis right now because I don't know if I should go into journalism. I still have another year before I need to apply to colleges, but I need to figure out exactly what so I can choose said college.

I can only see myself writing. I can barely see me as an English Teacher. I always considered psychology, but I'm not as good at science as I should be. Otherwise, nothing else is appealing. And it scares me. It's like I don't know who I am right now.

I will never stop writing no matter what I end up doing. Hopefully as Krysta figures out what exactly she wants to do, I'll decide whether or not journalism is it. Because writing truly is my life. And since Krysta and I have always done everything together, hopefully we'll figure this out together, too.